May 25, 2015
(All scripture is from the New King James Version unless otherwise indicated.)
Who Am I? First, I am a child of God. Second, I am a sinner saved by grace. For this third installment, let’s consider the next priority in my life:
● I am a husband. The scripture I have chosen for this topic is Ephesians 6:21, 25 through 28, 31 and 33:
…submitting to one another in the fear of God….Husbands, love your wives,
just as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it, that He might
sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might
present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any
such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So husbands
ought to love their wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves
himself….For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh….Nevertheless let
each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the
wife see that she respects her husband.
○ As a husband, I am to love my wife! And what kind of love is that supposed to be? Agape love! It is the kind of love that seeks the highest and the best for the person so loved. And it is a commitment – not based on feelings – to love that one no matter what!
I Corinthians 13:4 through 8 (Good News Bible) describes the characteristics of agape love:
Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not
ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs;
love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up;
and its faith, hope, and patience never fail. Love is eternal.
○ There is too much emphasis on verses 22 through 24 that excludes the rest of the passage:
Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is
head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church….Therefore, just as
the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in
The wife is too often pictured to be meekly under the lordly dominance of the husband! But husbands are exhorted to “…love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it….” How did Jesus give Himself for the church? He gave Himself completely, even dying to establish the church. So if a husband would be willing to lay down his life for his wife, then anything else he might do to make her happy would be a lesser sacrifice. And if he so laid down his life for her and she did not submit, then she would walk all over him. And if she submitted to a husband who was not willing to sacrifice for her, then he would walk all over her! It is no wonder then that Paul starts this passage with verse 22: “…submitting to one another in the fear of God.” When both submit to each other, then both are lifted up!
I must be willing to sacrifice for my wife – to do what I can to bless her. She is told to respect her husband in verse 33. If my wife is to respect me, I must be worthy of that respect – as a sacrificing husband who will do what he can to bring blessing to her!
○ Notice also the result that Christ has in mind for His Bride, the Church: “…that He might sanctify and cleanse it…[and] present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.” I, as a husband, should seek my wife’s Christian growth and maturity, and do what I can to facilitate it!
○ I am to love myself according to the Great Commandment of Luke 10:27: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as you love yourself.” My closest neighbor is my wife, and I am to love and care for her as much as I love and care for myself!
○ Paul in verse 31 is quoting Genesis 2:24: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” One flesh refers to the physical union of husband and wife. n I am to be mindful of my wife’s physical/sexual needs as she is of mine. And if addressed properly, fulfilling these needs necessitates keeping romance in marriage.
○ In verse 33 Paul writes, “…let each one of you in particular…love his own wife….” This emphasizes the sacred and exclusive bond of marriage. This is how Proverbs 5:15 through 20 puts it:
Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well.
Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets?
Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you. Let your foun-
tain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer
and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be
enraptured with her love. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by
an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress?
○ Finally, I lift up Proverbs 31:28 and 29 (speaking of the wife): “Her husband… praises her: ‘Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.’ ” I am to praise my wife often, letting her know how wonderful, appreciated and loved she is!
May this blog encourage you to be a better husband.